HUMOR

PARADE

THE GRIN AND BARE IT SECTION

June 1 1948
HUMOR

PARADE

THE GRIN AND BARE IT SECTION

June 1 1948

PARADE

THE GRIN AND BARE IT SECTION

HUMOR

FLOODS hit the prairies late this year, but when they came it was every man for himself. Two residents of the Red Deer area in Alberta knew there was no use trying to drive to town along the road that had been inundated by the Red Deer River, so they hitched up the old buckboard. The water at places surged over the tail of the rig and when they finally made it to town they were somewhat damp and irate. Pulling up in front of the reeve’s office, they grabbed something out of the rear of the buckboard that

hadn’t been there when they left home, stormed in on the bewildered reeve, dumped a large and flopping pickerel on his desk, and departed.

We’re told the reeve recovered himself sufficiently to take the fish home for dinner.

• • •

There’s an elderly, tall and dignified gentleman in Montreal who regularly attends to the family shopping accompanied by a frisky Scotty on a leash. The other day, reaching a Chinese laundry, he fumbled hopelessly through his pockets for the laundry ticket. The smiling proprietor told him not to worry and quickly plucked a bundle out of the great stack behind the counter like a magician whisking a rabbit from a hat.

Blinking his surprise the customer asked, "How did you find it so quickly?”

The la undry man pointed to the portion of the ticket attached to the bundle. "This say in Chinese—‘Big man, little dog.’ ”

• • •

A New Westminster five-year-old got out of Sunday school a moment before his mother reached the church to pick him up. To her horror she found him standing on the opposite curb of the heavily trafficked street, having crossed alone, against all parental instruction. When she descended on him his explanation was startling but final—"God told me to.” Baffled, she could only hustle him off home. Neither one of them heard the chuckles of two policemen parked at the curb in a cruiser, one of whom during a lull in traffic a moment before had called through the loudspeaker atop the car, "All right, sonny—you may cross now.”

• • •

The lawyers can argue it any way they like, but we’ve got it in black and white from a scout in Ridgeville, Man. He has sent us a leaflet published by the Railway Association of Canada outlining a new agreement covering the granting of vacations with pay to maintenance-ofway employees. And Section 3 (a) makes it perfectly clear that a deceased employee "shall be allowed vacation calculated to the date of his leaving the service.”

Wait’ll John L. Lewis hears about this one.

• • •

Strollers on Toronto’s Runnymede Ave. the other morning were treated to the spectacle of a broom-swinging storekeeper trying to beat out flames of undetermined origin which were blazing in the awning above his display window. Wasn’t getting anywhere, either, until a TTC bus swerved in to the curb and the driver jumped out brandishing a fire extinguisher. The flames were licked and knew it, and the bus was on its way again not more than 30 seconds behind schedule.

Needless to say the passengers enjoyed every second of it and were smiling with fond pride upon their

--——-----

chauffeur as the bus rolled on. The smiles became chortles of delight as, half a block up the street, two fire trucks wailed past in the opposite direction. The bus driver only shook his head and clucked sympathetically, "Too bad—probably broke up a good card game.”

Parade pays $5 to $10 for true, humorous anecdotes reflecting the Canadian scene. \o contributions can be returned. Address Parade, c/o Maclean's Magazine, 481 l.niversity Ate., Toronto»