Humor

Parade

Let’s run through that just once more

June 6 1959
Humor

Parade

Let’s run through that just once more

June 6 1959

Parade

Humor

Let’s run through that just once more

Though accustomed to the technological wonders of television, a group of Toronto CBC actors enjoying a rehearsal break couldn’t take their fascinated eyes off a newly installed coffee machine as it unfailingly performed its automatic routine. First the coffee came pouring out, then the cream, then the sugar and finally — the paper cup.

We didn’t realize how high the standard of living was in B. C. until we read an ad in the Vernon News: "Wanted — Girl to sleep in five days a week while mother works ...” Out there they pay teenagers for that?

A Parade scout in Portage la Prairie,

Man., swears that while he was standing in line at the post-office wicket the other day, the fellow ahead of him in bush jacket and overalls asked the clerk for a radio license. Told they haven't been issued for years he mumbled, “Oh?" and walked off shaking his head.

The course of true love seldom runs smooth, and advertising in the personal column of the Vancouver Sun doesn't help it a darn — witness these three adjoining ads:

Snooks, happy news, please phone me. S.R.H.

S.R.H. where can I contact you? Snooks. Box 539, Sun.

Snooks darling, please phone me. S.R.H.

There’s a woman in Kingston. Ont., with a new baby, but it's not her first baby and she doesn’t believe everything

she reads anymore. For instance, the serious bit of advice she found on page twenty-one of the Ontario health department's book on The Baby: "It is essential that the nursing mother have at least eight hours undisturbed sleep at night."

Our favorite nice - warm - spring - day story this year concerns a Winnipeg seven - year - old who trooped happily homeward plastered with mud. and to his father’s incredulous "How could you!” explained philosophically, ‘'Well. Dad. 1 guess that's just part of growing up.”

The woman on the Ottawa bus had clearly reached that stage in pregnancy when there's nothing much to do but wait. As she stood for her stop she looked down, sighed, leaned over and picked up a button. “Well, that’s two

gone!” she exclaimed cheerily, and clutching her coat to give the third and

last button a chance, stepped off.

Sign of the opulent times in Edmonton. Alta., is a house with a two-car garage and a double-width driveway that has a

white line running down the middle. One side is marked "His,” the other "Hers." * * *

There’s a fellow in Victoria, B.C., who will soon be taking his outboard motor outfit out of the bank vault where he now stores it for safekeeping, to enjoy it guardedly for another season. Away back a year ago January, upon visiting his cottage near Sidney, he discovered the motor had been stolen. L.ate last fall he gave up hope of the police ever finding it and disgustedly hauled gas tank, cables and all the rest of the accessories down to an auction room in Victoria — and found his own motor up for sale. Police traced it back through two previous owners to the man who stole it and put him in jail, but you can’t be that lucky twice.

If you’re going to outwit the parking problem these days, you’ve got to be really smart about it. Not like the Montreal wiseguy recently observed parking his car in front of a fire hydrant and tucking a previously received parking tag under his windshield wiper — for he was observed by a cop standing just a few feet away. More like the young housewife in Vancouver who found a parking spot all right, but couldn't unpark because other cars fore and aft were snubbed up so tight against hers. Now when she goes shopping she takes the family dog along and ties his leash to the back bumper, knowing he'll defy any other motorist to park within reach.

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